The anal probe knee jerk (9.8 degree of difficulty) basically tells me that people fear the asshole. It's probably latent homophobia (though, to be fair, the asshole is stinky in its own right). But, this asshole fear is clouding the issues -- if you are abducted by aliens, the probing is really the least of your worries. Doctors probe for the sake of health. Loving couples probe one and other recreationally. Ultimately, anal probing is weird, but it is still potentially terrestrial. A big eyed, thin necked, wobbily headed alien with long cold fingers -- THAT is messed up. I submit that the abduction itself is inherently horrific: once you are dragged through your wall and on to a UFO, your freakout capacity will be in the red. It's not like the experience will be pleasant up to and UNTIL the probing; at worst, an anal probe will take the terror from 99.5% to 99.7% -- nominal. So, don't fail to see the cosmic forrest for the trees in your ass. Get over your petty hiney prejudices and gird yourself for the REAL trouble ahead. We can't lose focus. If we can't tolerate a little personal invasion, what chance do we have when the invasion is on a planetary scale? Go Team Earth!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
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Our society does not have its priorities in order when it comes to alien abduction. You can tell a culture's deep dark values by its knee jerk reactions. For instance, whenever somebody mentions Soliel Moon Frye (Punky Brewster), six people chime in with the breast reduction factoid. That reaction is indisputable proof that our society likes boobs. This probably isn't a revelation to anyone, and I suppose that cosmetic surgeries make tabloid headlines frequently: the nose and chest on that chick from the Hills for one. That doesn't really prove anything though -- the articles are just fun. Breast augmentation stories will only last until the next gossipy blurb -- breast REDUCTION, on the other hand, becomes myth. A willful transgression against a phenomenal rack? Have the dead risen? Is it raining frogs? Clearly boobs mean a lot. So, when discussions of alien abduction nearly always prompt somebody to mention anal probes, it says something -- it says that our society is missing the point.
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